Classroom Management Hacks That Backfire

Gerry: [00:00:00] If you do the aisle weight- 

Andrea: Yeah ... 

Gerry: and it doesn't work, you're a punk. You're, you're a soft. But if you hit the aisle weight and it hits, that's gangster. That's Godfather level right there

Theme: To survive the climb 

Andrea: Hey, teacher besties. I am so excited to share with you that my book, They Never Taught Us That, is available right now. It is everything an experienced or first-year teacher needs to manage the chaos of a modern classroom, including some anecdotes to make you feel a little bit better, because if there is a way that you can screw up, I've probably done it.

It also has advice on how to build trust with families, how to manage grading and lesson plans and IEPs, and everything else that they never went over in your teacher prep program. They Never Taught Us That is available everywhere right now

Hey, teacher besties. Welcome to How to Survive the [00:01:00] Classroom. Um, Gerald, I need to tell you about what happened this weekend and, and our community on here, and it feels so fitting that we just had Steven Rogers on here not too long ago, because I feel like I earned some comedy stripes this past weekend.

Gerry: Okay. 

Andrea: Yeah. Okay. So I went to New Orleans, which I'd never been before, and I didn't know what to ex- I heard a lot of negative, a lot of negative things about New Orleans before I got there, so I was trying to, like, brace myself. But I will say that I heard a lot of negative things about Portland and Seattle before I went to those places, and they-- I had a lovely time in both.

So I was really trying to keep an open mind. Got to New Orleans. New Orleans, Bourbon Street is exactly what everyone had kind of warned me it was. Like, if you're walking down Bourbon Street, it's like, it's like if you're going down, like, a really swampy, slight, like, towards the end of the night street in a [00:02:00] not great area in Vegas.

That's the kind of vibe that was happening there. Plus, there was also National Guard presence pretty heavily going up and down just patrolling in on Bourbon Street, which was also weird for me to see. Um, but the rest of New Orleans, lovely, had a wonderful time. However, we do need to talk about the show that I had, because it was, um, not what was expected.

So s- like, we talked about how sometimes you have to cancel shows. I went to New Orleans to basically just hang out with my husband while he was doing a work conference. So I just added the show on. I had no idea if I had anyone in New Orleans who would come to a show. I did. I had 14 people, which, you know what?

I'll, I-I'm for it. I-- If I have 14 people who, you know, get a babysitter, take time out of their weekend, come over to see my show, I'm delighted by it, right? 

Speaker 4: Yeah. 

Andrea: So I'm really excited to perform for this group. I show up, and the owner's like, "Hey, like, since you didn't have, like, you know, [00:03:00] like, 40 people, we figured we'd combine you with another comedy show."

And I was like, "All right, bet. Like, let's do this thing." I meet the other comics 15 minutes after my original show was supposed to start. 

Gerry: Okay. 

Andrea: And I was just-- I-- It was very confusing. I wasn't su- like, and I had been s- it was a small area, small bar, small venue. I'm sitting in the bar talking to all the people who came to see me, and I know they came to see me 'cause they're all holding my book.

And so I'm chatting with them. They're like, "Hey, when are we gonna, like, get started?" Because teachers, we're like, "Hey, if the bell rings at 8:07, we need to be in our seats, and we need to be ready to go," right? 

Speaker 5: Yes. 

Andrea: So I, I'm, like, kind of panicking 'cause I'm like, "Hey, guys," like, "I'm so sorry. I think we're gonna start a little late."

We start, end up starting at 8:00 because that's what the other group's normal time is. So basically 'cause we combined, I then started at 8:00. The other comic's phenomenal, super fun, really good, but the enti- And this is, like, in a small room [00:04:00] with, like, a concrete floor in New Orleans, and the spotlight that is up for the show keeps turning off randomly.

Oh, and the microphone didn't work at the beginning of the show either. 

Gerry: Oh, 

Andrea: sweet. Um, and so all... And then, like, the crowd that came to see the other comics kinda came, like, trickled in a little bit late. You can tell they're kinda like the regulars who always come to these, and they trickle in a little bit late.

And so my, like, my audience had been there since, like, 7:30, some of them 7:15, and had been waiting 45 minutes. And, like, it was the, the strangest environment for a show I think I've ever done. And I wanna say that I just, like, barreled through and was like, "You know what? I'm still going to be, like, my best funny self, and I'm going to ignore, like, the vibes that are in this room right now of, like, kind of dis- like, uncomfortable."

I didn't. I-- It wasn't better. And here's the thing. The people in your life who love [00:05:00] you often will lie to you after comedy shows and be like, "Listen, it was great. You did great." Um, and Steven comes to pretty much all of my comedy shows, um, and he's usually like, "It wasn't that bad," anything like that. He has, he said nothing about the show afterwards and the next morning was like Yeah, that was, that was pretty rough last night.

I was like, "Yep, yep, it was." And I was talking to somebody about it and they're like, "I, you know, I sometimes, like, lose sleep if I have an awkward conversation or say something stupid." Yeah. And I was like, "Well, im- imagine this awkward conversation happened in front of, like, 35 people who paid money to be disappointed by you, and just replay that over and over again in your head and never sleep again."

So I was humbled this weekend. 

Gerry: It, it's weird which ones will stick with you. 'Cause I've got, I've done some before and I'm like, "Yeah, that was bad." And then I'm just like, "I'm a go get food and go home." Like, I don't, it doesn't phase me. [00:06:00] I'm like, whatever. But then some of them it's like, ah. Like, you, then you feel it and you're like, you're pissed.

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: You're just 

Andrea: angry. 

Gerry: Yeah. Um- 

Andrea: I, I, I think the thing is, is, like, if I know I performed well and the audience just wasn't with it, I can sleep after that. That's okay. But if I know that the audience wasn't with it and in response to that I didn't perform super well, that's what makes me lose sleep. It's, and, and it's, it reminds me of, like, when I was teaching and I'm like, "Oh, I didn't do a good job," and then a kid called me out on it and now I'm embarrassed.

Like, it's just this deep, deep shame and embarrassment. Yeah. It was pretty brutal. It was pretty brutal, I'm not gonna lie. Um- 

Speaker 4: Did you 

Andrea: address 

Speaker 4: it? 

Andrea: But I sh- I mean, a little bit. I, I did with the comics afterwards. I, because it's also one of those things, like, you don't wanna say, like, "This is going poorly," necessarily, unless you can do it in a way that's funny enough it helps pull up And it was [00:07:00] like, it was just so far gone that, like, I acted like everything was great.

I thanked every person who came out, all of that, and then all the 

Gerry: comics- That took, what, three or four minutes? 

Andrea: Shut up. Yeah. Um, listen, one by one, I'm like, "Thank you so much." They're like, "We had a great time." And I'm like, "Yeah, okay. Sure." Because you don't wanna also... Because sometimes you will have people that are like, "I had a great time."

"What do you mean?" And sometimes they're lying, but sometimes they did have a great time, and so you also don't wanna, like, sour somebody's good time by being like, "That was very uncomfortable for me. I wanna forget." Yeah. And, and so... And that happens so rarely now. Like, now I'm, like, on my grind. I feel like I, I put on a really good show, and so it threw me also that it wasn't.

But I will say, this is something that's so interesting to me, is comedians are so much nicer to you after you have a bad set than after you have a good one, which I think is fascinating. Like, they were all lovely to [00:08:00] me, like, chatted with me afterwards, whereas when I've had really good sets, a lot of times the comics, like, are not nearly as friendly.

I, I just think that's an interesting little tidbit for people who have never- 

Gerry: I feel 

Andrea: like- ... uh, tried to go into the world of comedy ... 

Gerry: it's the opposite. 

Andrea: Really? People are nicer to you after you have a good set? 

Gerry: I think, though, after I'm bad, I'm like, "Don't talk to me." Like- 

Andrea: It's you ... 

Gerry: hey, 'cause I've had people, like, try and...

They'll be like, "Oh yeah, that was fine." And I was like, "No, it wasn't. We both saw it. Like, why are we acting like that was okay?" Like, like, shut up, you know? Like, just let me, let me suck at this and- Yeah ... just, let me just feel it. Like, stop. 

Andrea: Yeah. That... Maybe that's, maybe that's you. Maybe it's just me, like, being very apologetic, and that's why I feel like everyone's being so nice because I'm just like, "Wow, guys, we experienced that.

That did happen." And they're just like, "We did." It's like, all right, well, good game. Good game. Good game. It, it, it is, it is almost, like, the same feeling as when you really screwed up in, like, the last [00:09:00] two minutes of a game and everybody saw it and everybody knows it was you, and you just, you screwed up, and everyone's just like, "Yeah, it's all right, man.

You'll get 'em next time. You'll get 'em next time." 

Gerry: That just happened. I, I, I was moving stuff in to the place I'm moving on, I guess, Tuesday. And I, I'm watching the Knicks game, and they're playing Cleveland, and Cleveland's up, like, 22, in New York, seven minutes left. 

Theme: Mm. 

Gerry: And just, then New York just won't miss.

And- Ugh ... Cleveland won't call a timeout. Cleveland didn't stop it, and New York just rolled back, sent the game to overtime, dogged them in overtime, end up winning the game by like seven or eight. And it's like, bro, you were... Like, ESPN will show the percentages, like, of you winning. It said it, with seven and a half minutes left, Cleveland had a 99.9% chance to win, and they lost.

Andrea: When you're statistically, like, an anomaly for losing and you lose, that's [00:10:00] ac- that's insane. That's crazy. At one- I bet somebody made crazy money on their sports betting with that one, though 

Gerry: At o- at, at one point, well, your boy made, like, 22 bucks. But one- 

Andrea: Hey. '

Gerry: Cause I took them at halftime when they were, like, down four, and I was like, "Oh, this is fine."

Andrea: Nice. 

Gerry: And then, and then, of course, they go down 22 at one point. I'm watching, I'm like, "All right. Well, that's money I'm not getting back." And I watch them win. I'm like, "Heck yeah. Buy my lunch. Buy my lunch." 

Andrea: I love it. That's amazing. Um, okay, so I have a question for you. So I just finished my semester officially.

Speaker 4: Okay. 

Andrea: Um, so yay. It's, it's a delight. I'm so happy. I'm spending a lot of time, uh, planting things in my garden because, you know, there's nothing qui- You know, when you... I- if you bomb on stage, you don't have a physical manifestation of your failure. But if you garden, you will have a daily physical man- manifestation of all the ways that you have failed at gardening.

So because I like that immediate gratification of pain [00:11:00] in, like, a physical form, I've started to garden. 

Gerry: Do you know immediately with gardening, though? Like, don't that take time? Ain't that the point? 

Andrea: So weirdly, yes and no because if you... Like, it's not immediate-immediate, but within a couple days, like, you can usually see if the seed is, like, sprouting, depending on what kind of seed it is.

That's wild. It is. It's crazy. Um, but I was think- 'cause one of my friends is, like, wrapping up her school year. She's trying to get ready. Um, and she had to do a professional development that she absolutely did not need to do, and the school district was like, "No, we really want you to take this day." And so she had to miss a day in, like, the last few weeks of school.

And I'm just wondering, do you think that, um, you would tell your students if you knew you were gonna be out? Like, what would you do to prepare them, or would you just, like, let it slide? 

Gerry: I've done both. I, um- [00:12:00] Like yesterday, I knew I wasn't gonna be there today, and my kids left, and I said, "See you tomorrow."

I didn't tell them. I didn't tell them I wasn't coming. I told, but I had told like one group of eighth graders I wasn't coming, but that's 'cause we were going through a whole spiel about something else. I was like, "Yeah, I'm not gonna be here tomorrow. We're gonna do this Friday. Uh, we're off Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.

Here's what's happening next week." And sometimes it just kind of depends on how I'm trying to plan for something. 

Speaker 4: Mm. 

Gerry: But I kind of think like with some of the groups, I don't like to tell them I'm not gonna be there because then they can plan. They're like, "Oh, we're not gonna sit in our seats. We're gonna do this."

If, and they, sometimes they're used to coming in, me not being in the room. I like to do the college professor thing and walk in after everybody gets in there. Like sometimes I'm down the hall and I come back, and I'll just come in loud and be like, "All right, do this." And they're like, "Ooh, all right." [00:13:00] Um, or I'll hit- Can I-

the door or something. Sometimes I stand outside the door and just listen. 

Andrea: Oh, that's messy. Do you ever hear anything crazy? 

Gerry: No, I just hear them like they'll be up yapping and I'll walk in. If they're doing something, I'll like, I'll walk in, crash out, and then they're like... And then I'll be like, "All right, go Canvas," if it's working.

Andrea: If it's working. Yeah, I actually- one of my friends just asked me in, about the whole Canvas hack. Do you know how it was resolved? 

Theme: Who cares? 

Andrea: That was kind of my vibe, but like h- I want... I don't know that I'm 

Gerry: gonna- They 

Andrea: had to pay. They probably had to pay ... they had to have, right? Hold on. How was the Canvas...

I'm Googling right now, guys. This is a live Google. How was the... They re- Yeah, they did. They definitely paid up. So I just Googled. It said, "The Canvas cyber attack was resolved when its parent company, Instructure, reached an agreement with the hackers. Instructure retrieved the stolen data, received confirmation of its destruction, and secured a promise that no customers will be extorted.

The breach orchestrated by the group [00:14:00] ShinyHunters was po- made possible by an exploitive vulnerability in the free for teacher accounts." So the, in order to neutralize the threat, they temporarily shut down those accounts and all that. So they must have paid, which- So- ... I find fascinating because we all knew that there was a hack.

No one is saying how much money those hackers made, but it had to be a crazy amount of money. 

Gerry: I, I don't know this happened everywhere, but I know that students and teachers, when they got on, like a couple days after the Canvas hack, a ransom notice came up, like saying essentially, "Hey, y'all tried to patch it, didn't work."

Like essentially the hacker saying, "Y'all tried to fix this, didn't work. Um, so you can contact these people to figure out how to make sure your data doesn't get leaked, and your organization has until this date to, uh, pay up or we're gonna do whatever we're gonna do with this [00:15:00] data." And it was like crazy.

So like I, I started seeing it in like these Facebook groups and something. They're talking about this ransom notice, and I'm kind of like, this is kind of funny that they're telling us like, "Hey, y'all thought you did something. You didn't." You didn't Like, we still got it. 

Andrea: Oh my gosh. Yeah, mine was only down for like 14 hours.

How long was yours down for? 

Gerry: Like five days. 

Andrea: No way. 

Gerry: Yeah, and I didn't know what to do. I only post in Canvas. I'm like, "Man, I ain't never printed nothing off." Like, what are we doing? I'm like, they're gonna make me have to change my whole way of doing things, and I don't like it. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: I do not like it at all.

Andrea: That's so crazy. No, mine was only down for 14 hours, which also makes me wonder if there wasn't, like, a tiered discussion of, like, we need this back online first, 'cause it would make sense that universities would get access back first because they probably pay the most money. Um, but yeah, I, I wanna know the money.

I wanna know the dollar amount because that got 

Gerry: real [00:16:00] hush-hush. You think university is more than a, more than a school system? 

Andrea: I, I think that they have more accessible money to them that would be liquid cash. They could go and be like, "Let's, let's move money over." Though I don't know that- Maybe ... the university has actually paid anything.

I think it must have been just the, the owners of Canvas. Yeah. Which also makes me wonder, like, how are they making so much money? Like, how much is, how much are school districts paying to use Canvas is the other thing. Like, if they just ha- were able to, like Pay off the hackers like that. That's a scary thought 

Gerry: Imagine be- like, being the person who, like, opened the email that gave up all...

Like, you just read it and you're like, you're like, "My Amazon order's delayed," and you click a button and you're like, "Oh my God" 

Andrea: Oh, no. That- And you just 

Gerry: shut down the country 

Andrea: That's crazy to think about, 'cause it said it was from, [00:17:00] like, a teacher, a free teacher access account, and I have no idea how any kind of hacks happen whatsoever.

Like, that world is completely foreign to me, but that would be insane to be like, "Oh, I just clicked this button that looked like it said it was from my administrator that said they needed to see me in their office right now. And so I clicked three buttons and then I realized, oh, that was actually at a Gmail account instead of at, you know, .edu account."

Ooh, it's brutal. 

Gerry: I got got one time, but it was one of the ones our district sends out emails that are sus. Yeah So you'll like to, to test you, and I got got by one of those. 

Andrea: I hate those Had to do a phishing training Those piss me off, man. I think that's so petty of the district 

Gerry: And now I, now I report everything as phishing.

I'll report, I've reported stuff that wasn't phishing. It, it'd be like, "Hey, we got PLC tomorrow," and at least feels like phishing. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: I'm like, "Nah, I don't wanna do that." Yeah. Phishing. 

Andrea: You're like, "No" 

Gerry: Suspicious. 

Andrea: I [00:18:00] actually, there was, um, a disgruntled former employee at one of the jobs that I worked at who sent out emails and YouTube videos to the entire district.

So all of the staff, all of the students, everybody got like 12 emails, and it was like ins- it was insane stuff. Like, it was insane ramblings. Like, this person was having a psychotic break, but they were doing it over the course of like 12 hours and posting videos and just saying like really insane stuff.

And I noticed, and all my teacher friends noticed, but it was like a Sunday night when it started. And so we all saw all the emails and everything. We're like texting each other about them. But by the morning, all of the emails had been somehow, like, digitally removed from all of our accounts. So the district had, like, gone in and removed the evidence of the fact any of it had ever ha- like had ever happened.

Um, which was abs- it [00:19:00] like, I was like, "Oh, I guess, yeah, that makes sense." Like, they tell us we have no privacy on our work computers, so I guess that's, they also can make things disappear Which is 

Gerry: all full on sting That's 

Andrea: crazy. 

Gerry: Yeah You, you have so many more, like, interesting things happen to you. 

Andrea: I'm much, much older than you, as we've established.

I'm so much older than you, so that's probably why. You know, you know what's funny though, is as you were talking about how embarrassing it would be to be that teacher that had, like, clicked on the wrong phishing link and crashed Canvas, I would've rather been the teacher that crashed Canvas for the entire country than have to remember back the comedy set that I did on Sunday night.

That's- That's crazy ... that's how, that's how real it was. I had... It was so bad that I relived it that night in a dream, but instead of it being where it was, it was on Funny AF, and I was, at the end of that, I was, like, apologizing [00:20:00] to Kevin Hart. I was like, "Man, I- that's- that was not my best work. I'm really sorry."

Gerry: You 

Andrea: Which is wild. Which is wild. I, I realized that, like- We're gonna 

Gerry: get you in the trenches, Andrea. 

Andrea: I 

Gerry: know. Guys- 'Cause l- let me, let me tell you. Here- You sent me a picture of the room. 

Andrea: Mm-hmm. 

Gerry: And I didn't say this to you at the time but I looked and I'm like, "Actually don't look that bad." I was like- Oh

"That might be, that might be 

Andrea: fine." My gosh. Yeah, it wasn't that the room was that bad, guys, truly. Like, it, it wasn't that. It was just that the vibe was weird and I... Mm. It just wasn't my best. And so 

Gerry: And- I did a show one time in Mexican restaurant right by the door where they would bring all the, like, the bus boy stuff out.

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: And they would bring the food out. You ever done... You e- have you ever done a show, a, a, a free show at a Mexican restaurant that didn't know you were gonna be there, and they bring fajitas out next to you- ... through the [00:21:00] door? No. You sent me a picture. I, I was like, "Andrea, they have a stage. They have a microphone."

Andrea: They did. Like- Yeah, it's true. I'm 

Gerry: like, "

Andrea: I, I don't 

Gerry: know." 

Andrea: And I, I have had to perform surprise comedy for people at a restaurant before. So I have had that, but there weren't fajitas. Um, that's pretty brutal to get upstaged by a pan of sizzling meat. Like, that's, that's, that's rough. That's real rough. It's 

Gerry: crazy.

Andrea: Um, all right, guys. We are gonna take a very quick break, and we'll be right back.

Have you ever wondered what I would say if my mother and my administrators weren't watching every single thing I do on social media? Well, that's exactly what my stand-up show is, and I'm gonna be coming to a town near you super soon. You can get tickets at educatorandrea.com/tickets All right, welcome back teacher besties.

Uh, okay, so I have more teacher red flag, green flags for you. [00:22:00] 

Gerry: Okay. 

Andrea: Um, but these are like the cliche ones. Okay, so like the things that like I feel like teachers do really often, but are like, I don't know, to me I have like a very distinct like vibe off of all of these. So I'm in- Why'd you do that 

little 

Gerry: Ratatouille thing 

Andrea: when you said that?

I don't know. I just, I did just watch Ratatouille yesterday. That's probably why. That movie's amazing. You're virtually- I love Ratatouille ... 

Gerry: simulating Ratatouille right now. 

Andrea: I- 

Gerry: You're, you're code switching Ratatouille. 

Andrea: I love Ratatouille. That, that movie is incredible. 

Gerry: Um- I haven't seen Ratatouille in a long time.

Andrea: Gotta revisit, so good. All right. Um, if a teacher's standing at the front of the classroom and says, "I'll wait While they wait for their students to be quiet. Is that like a red flag or a green flag to you? 

Gerry: I go green flag. 

Andrea: Yeah? 

Gerry: Yeah, I think it's a red [00:23:00] flag if they stand there and keep trying to talk and just getting dunked on by the kids.

I think if you can, uh, I- if you can do, if you, if you do the I'll wait- Yeah ... and it doesn't work, you're a punk. You're, you're a soft. 

Andrea: Okay. 

Gerry: But if you hit the I'll wait and it hits, that's gangster. That's Godfather level right there. 

Andrea: Okay, but have you ever had it happen where you said, "I'll wait," and they're like, "Bet," and they just keep talking?

Because I have had that happen before, and it is brutal. You've never had that? 

Gerry: Maybe once. 

Andrea: Ugh. It's awful. It's so, so awful. And then I'm like, what do I... Like, 'cause truly it's one of those where like, okay, or what? Like, all right, wait, go for it, girl. Like, what, what am I gonna... Like, what's my next step? If I say I'll wait and they're like, "Excellent," they just keep talking, then I'm just like, okay, well, now I'm just gonna like stare daggers at them.

Gerry: That's kind of like, they, and they just go, "All right, swag. Let's keep talking." [00:24:00] 

Andrea: It, it hap- I had, it was this freshman class. I had 43 freshmen in that class, and in that- 

Gerry: That's ins- that's insane ... 

Andrea: insane. And of the 43, 27 were boys. And so it was a majority male class, like seventh period, freshman English. And I tried that once.

I was like, "I'll wait." And one of the guys like, "Bet." And they just turned around and all of them kept talking. And I'm like- Like, wait. 

Gerry: Oh, like, I've had them before just take a while to stop talking after that. If one said, "Okay, my next move, get out. I don't care where you go." Yeah. "Get out of my class." And I kick them out.

And, and they don't like it when I do that. But I, I- Yeah ... if I kick a kid out, but I was at my wit's end. I- 

Andrea: Yeah ... 

Gerry: um, I'll kick a kid out quick and just call and be like, "Hey, they're on their way. I, I'm not waiting for you to come down here. I'm sending them to you. You can figure it out." It, uh- 

Andrea: Oh my gosh

Gerry: 'cause that's about all I got going for me is classroom [00:25:00] management. They, they don't play with... It don't happen too often where they just, I mean, rather large 300 something pound dude who's, we're on a podcast, so I can say I'm buff. Like, I'm, I'm, I'm strong, you know? Mm-hmm. Like, I've actually got the biggest muscles anybody on here has ever, ever seen.

I hope you're listening. 

Andrea: Mm-hmm. 

Gerry: But- 

Andrea: Yeah 

Gerry: Nobo- no, I'm not getting ignored most of the time- 

Andrea: Yeah, that's 

Gerry: true ... just 'cause 

Andrea: of my 

Gerry: stature. 

Andrea: That i- like, the i- well, exactly. That's the struggle, right? Is like, s- let's say I ha- and because even freshmen sometimes would be bigger and taller than me, and if I'm trying to, like, stare daggers at them, I'm, like, looking up like a little baby bird.

Like- 

Gerry: Yeah ... 

Andrea: like, that, that's not it. Like, I'm not ... And I had a, I had a teacher in eighth grade, um, who she could do that, and she was n- not even five feet tall, but her ability, she was a Marine, um, and so her ability to just stare at someone and watch, you could watch them [00:26:00] wither under her stare, and I just, I, I, it was never me, and it's kinda sad 'cause I wanted it to be me so bad, but I would just be like, "I'll wait," and then they're like, "Yeah, okay."

'Cause I also hate silence, so they know I probably won't. I'll probably just be like, "All right, guys, come on." It's not, it's not it. Not it. Um, okay. The next one is what if a teacher, um, a student, after a student says, "Can I go to the bathroom?" They say, "I don't know. Can you?" Is that a red flag or a green flag?

Gerry: It's hard to classify these as red flag 'cause I've probably said that 

Andrea: Doesn't mean it's not a red flag, Gerry. We just identified that me not being able to wait when I say I'll wait, it's a red flag. I should have probably done better with that. My classroom management could have been better for sure, especially with that class of 40- Yeah

some freshmen.

Gerry: I go green flag. I, I take back the other [00:27:00] one because I think this is the green flag. I think that's funnier when you go, "I don't know." Daniel? I like- I sometimes like will, like put a twist on. I'm trying to think of like funny ways I've responded. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: Um. 

Andrea: I, I don't think I ever did. Um- I think I was always like, "Yeah, sure.

Gerry: Go for it" ... one of the ones I'll get is instead of, "Can I go to the bathroom?" They'll go, "Mr. Patoca, I can go to the bathroom?" 

Andrea: Oh. 

Gerry: And I'm like, "Are you asking me or telling me?" 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: Like- 

Andrea: That, I don't like that. I- Yeah ... a lot of- I think my response when, 'cause I've had kids do that, and sometimes my, my own, my own sweet children, angelic babes who often pop their little heads into, uh, our recording, um, 

Gerry: they- Which they 

Andrea: haven't 

Gerry: yet today

Andrea: you know why? Daddy's home. 

Gerry: Oh. 

Andrea: Daddy's up there. Yeah. We just got back. He, poor Steven just got back from, uh, New Orleans at like 3:00 in the morning after traveling for like 18 hours, 'cause he got delayed and everything. So he's up there with the kids. That's [00:28:00] why we haven't seen their beautiful faces yet.

Um, but they'll say something out of pocket, like, of course, unsurprisingly, my son will be like, "Mom, water." And I'm like, "Uh, do- try again. Try again correctly." And then he'll be like, "Mom, may I please have some water?" Um, because I mm-mm, mm-mm, we do not talk to people like that. Um, I do have a story also, forgot about this.

Uh, they had kindergarten graduation Tuesday night, um, 

Gerry: and- Oh, um, I have a hill to die on. Keep going. 

Andrea: Oh, okay, great. 

Gerry: Um- Don't let me forget. 

Andrea: Okay. Tuesday night, kindergarten graduation, I'm there. Um, St- Steven is still, like traveling for work, so it's just me. Both my kids are in this performance, and I'm recording so that I've got it recorded for Steven since he won't be there.

And so I s- and, and my son is like in the center, and he has to hold a flag for part of it. [00:29:00] And so I see him after everyone else has like walked away, it's just my son up there standing holding the flag then, and he's pointing at me and he's saying something, but I can't tell what he's saying. I'm like, "What?"

And he's like mouthing something to me, and then just yells into the microphone, "Clap." And one of the teachers is like, "What are you doing? Go." And then he's like, "Why won't my mom clap?" into the microphone. And like all of the parents just look at me like, "Why aren't you clapping for your kindergartner, you horrible, horrible mother?"

And I'm like, "I was recording. I don't, I'm sorry. I only had one hand." And I told my son that afterwards. I was like- And you have 

Gerry: this on video? 

Andrea: Yes. Yes. I have it on video. I'll send it, uh, to the pod so we can play it, um, which we'll- we can plug it in right here

Speaker 5: I was filming. I had only one hand. 

Andrea: I was so [00:30:00] embarrassed, and there wasn't anything I could do. I was just like, uh, like trying to not be mortified by it. Um, and afterwards he was like, "Why weren't you clapping?" And I was like, "Buddy, I couldn't clap because my hand was holding the camera." And he's like, "You have another hand."

I'm like, "Okay This kid- That 

Gerry: kid's gonna be a superstar ... 

Andrea: he, he is gonna get- Yeah. Well, and as the parents were leaving, they all, like, gave me, like, like, smiling looks and stuff, and one of the moms was like, "He must keep you busy." And I'm like, "He keeps me humble." Like, 'cause that just- 

Gerry: That's when you, you should've just stood up and, like, just, like, a standing O- Oh my gosh

like, show-stopping. 

Andrea: The only person standing up and clapping for... And I, if, those who've been to my show know I, I have pretty strong feelings- Yeah ... about, uh, children performances anyways. But, um, yeah. Would, 

Gerry: would that be worse than the New Orleans thing? Standing up- No ... and clapping by yourself? Okay. 

Andrea: No, [00:31:00] no.

Unfortunately, my m- the amount of shame that I can experience is, um, a lot more profound than I ever realized, 'cause I don't tend- I'm not embarrassed easily. Like, I feel like I have a pretty high threshold for being embarrassed and for, like, having anxiety about something I've said or done, um, which is why doing comedy is an interesting experience for me, because you're just, your worst moments just, they live with- they live on.

They live on, truly. Um, okay, I wanna hear the hill that you're gonna die on. 

Gerry: We gotta get rid of these little funky graduations. I think it's so stupid. Now, I wanna clarify, I, like, I'm not saying don't recognize, maybe do something. Like, "Hey, see ya," thing. Like, my school calls it, uh, moving on or moving up- 

Speaker 4: Okay

Gerry: thing. And, and [00:32:00] they, and they do it. But when you say, "I'm have- oh, I have my kid's graduation," I'm like, "Your kid's nine." Like, what are we doing? It's, "Oh, it's a 5th grade graduation." I don't know how old you are at nine, but whatever. And it's like- 

Andrea: Yeah ... 

Gerry: we're having these, like, kindergarten graduations, 5th grade graduation, 8th grade graduations.

Like, that shit's stupid. 

Andrea: Like- Okay, so which ones- Which one sh- should we still have, do you think? Uh, 

Gerry: the 12th grade one. 

Andrea: That's it? Just 12th grade? That's 

Gerry: it. That's it. 

Andrea: Okay. 

Gerry: Okay. Congrats. You got there. 

Andrea: I'm trying- 

Gerry: Even that one's like, we're doing too much. 

Andrea: I- You did 

Gerry: what you were expected to do. 

Andrea: Yeah. Yeah.

It is funny though, because people do freak out about high school graduations and make it... And I think it's, it's less because, weirdly, it's less about the accomplishment and more about the fact that it is this huge moment of change in someone's life when they go from being someone who has to [00:33:00] legally go to school to now they could do nothing.

And the law is not going to imprison their parents. And so to me, I think that's really why is, is it's, it's almost like a finish line for the parents in some ways or like a, a marking point of like, "Okay, I got them to this point," for the parents. Um, I agree that I think kindergarten graduation is ridiculous.

Um, I also, my kids also had preschool graduation. So they had preschool graduation, then they had kindergarten graduation- Stupid I agree. I agree. Some of the parents at the school that my kids go to made specialized, um, what are those things called? Like, little sash things to put around. You know, like, when you get honors at a college.

A bunch of the kids got, like, special customized sashes. And I'm like, "I'm not doing that. I'm not spending $30 for a customized sash. I'm so sorry. My kid's not gonna be that kid. I'm, it's not gonna happen. I'm so sorry to say it." And I, so I agree, kindergarten [00:34:00] graduation, preschool graduation, ridiculous.

People do it because it's cute and because kids that are difficult talk into the microphone and say, "Mom, why aren't you clapping?" And people- That's funny ... eat that up. That makes it worth it. That's funny. They eat that up. That's funny. That's right. Um, I think fifth grade, I feel the same way. We could get rid of fifth grade.

We could get rid of kindergarten. Um, I do like eighth grade graduation because that to me starts, like, teenage years. Like- Yeah ... when you're in high school, like, you're an actual teenager. So I don't mind that one, but I am on your side to, like, let's ask, like, what are we doing? Why are we spending- I think we can get rid of all of them

money, resources, energy? Even high 

Gerry: school. I think we get rid of all of them, unless you from my school or you a parent or something, you listening. The one my school does, that's fine. All the other ones, stupid. I- Yeah ... I ju- just, just for PR. But- Mm-hmm ... and you, and, and while we're at it, the people who bedazzle their caps.

Andrea: You don't like it? 

Gerry: No. I wanna walk up to them and flick it off their head. Stupid. 

Andrea: What if it's, like, a funny quote? 

Gerry: Stupid. 

Andrea: Oh, [00:35:00] I don't know. It's stupid. I like a little- 

Gerry: You, you wanna do a funny quote, grab the microphone and speak into it 

Andrea: Okay. 

Gerry: When you graduated- Do what, do, do what your child did and grab the mic and go, "Clap, that's funny."

Andrea: That- 

Gerry: Bump, bump the, bump the sparkles, baby. That's stupid. 

Andrea: Okay. D- when you graduated, were kids doing that? Were they decorating their caps or is that something that has started happening more since you graduated? 'Cause people were not doing it when I graduated. 

Gerry: I, I don't remember it in high school. 

Andrea: Okay.

Gerry: Um. 

Andrea: So is this because you're an old man now and it's your curmudgeony opinion? 

Gerry: I, so when I did, I did two years, and I, and I'm gonna say this one's stupid too. I did two years at community college and got an associate's- Mm-hmm ... and did a graduation. 

Speaker 4: Okay. 

Gerry: And I did that one more so t- I wasn't gonna do it.

Yeah. I did it to, like, please my grandparents. [00:36:00] Like, um, mainly my mom's mom. 

Speaker 4: Yeah. 

Gerry: But I did it to please her. Mm-hmm. And, um, because when I graduated high school, I made bank. They was giving me money- 

Speaker 4: Oh, 

Gerry: yeah ... left and right, and I said, "Yeah, I'm gonna do another one of these graduations, big dog." Like, yeah, I'm doing that.

Like, I felt like- That's fair ... I wasn't gonna get nothing I ain't doing. I'm like, "Yeah, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna get the cake afterwards or whatever." Um, but no, that one was stupid. It's like, 'cause I knew if, if that's it, if you're done, like you do something in community college and you're, you're done- 

Andrea: Yeah 

Gerry: That's, that's sweet.

Like- 

Andrea: Right ... 

Gerry: but if you know you only did that to save money before you go to big boy college, I didn't do the stuff at State. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: I, I'm trying to think- Well, I went to NC State. I didn't do my bachelor's graduation, uh, 'cause I graduated, like, in the summer, and I didn't want- Oh, yeah ... by the time it came, I would've had to gra- walk with the people in the winter.

I'm like, "N- I have been done." I said, [00:37:00] "Just mail me the thing. I don't wanna do it." 

Andrea: Yeah. I walked for my bachelor's and my first master's because they were both local. Um, I didn't walk for my community college associate's degree, and I did not walk for my doctorate. I've actually... No, one time I put on my, my graduation regalia for my doctorate for pictures, uh, because my husband graduated with his master's degree on the exact same day.

And we were like, "Okay, my PhD, his master's," and we were talking about which one to go to, and the biggest determining factor was, number one, my husband didn't get to walk for any of his ceremonies. Like, he didn't get to walk for his bachelor's- Mm-hmm ... or any of that kind of stuff. But he also graduated from Yale, and I was graduating from Li- Liberty, and I'm like, "I would rather go to your graduation, see you graduate.

I'll wear my regalia and take pictures and then go throw my regalia somewhere else." Um, and so that's what we ended up doing. Yeah. But yeah, I, I mean, those are, like, college, master's, PhD, like, those all seem like, yeah, you did, you did something. You should take a [00:38:00] moment and celebrate that thing. Um, yeah, kindergarten.

If I do 

Gerry: a master's, I would probably walk for that one, because I do- You get a different- I, I regret a little bit not walking for the bachelor's, but North- NC State's one of the biggest public schools in North Carolina. 

Andrea: Yeah, like a 12-hour graduation or whatever 

Gerry: it is. It's insane. Uh, I wasn't trying to do all that.

Yeah, no, that's- Yeah ... no, I wasn't trying to do all that. 

Andrea: Um- 

Gerry: Um, but yeah, the bedazzled caps and, and anything besides high school graduation is stupid, and we should cancel it. 

Andrea: I love it. I love that you have 

Gerry: hills to 

Andrea: die 

Gerry: on. I don't even think it's, I don't even think it's good for the parents. Um, 

Andrea: I, I- Really?

What, how are the parents impacted by the bedazzled caps? 

Gerry: Uh, uh, I... They paid for it probably. But the, uh- Probably ... no, like you said something about, and I wanna circle back to this point. You said something about, I think it's more of a signal, like, for the parents and- Mm-hmm ... like, nah. Nah, it's stupid. Like, you did what...

Again, it's like the kid. You did what you're supposed to do. Parents, you got your kid through school. What, what was you gonna do, Casey Anthony? Like, no. I'm not doing [00:39:00] that 

Andrea: Jerry, if you had kids, you would know. Listen, listen. The way you get those kids across the- I'd 

Gerry: be, I, I'd be mad. I'd be like, "You're making me go sit out in the sun?"

Andrea: Yeah. I mean, you're gonna do it for your kid one day, but- 

Gerry: I, I'll probably maybe, but it, I, I also feel like I might just pay that kid and be like, "Look, whatever your- Oh my gosh ... whatever your grandparents are giving you for, for graduating, I'll double it just to not have to do it." 

Andrea: I actually remember, um, before I had kids, I got really annoyed when people would post that their kids were walking for the first time.

Um, because I was like, it's like a normal developmental milestone. Like, it's not noteworthy that they're doing normal developmental stuff unless they have some sort of thing going on where it isn't normal and there are, like, really having... I just remember being annoyed by that, and now I'm a parent. I'm sure I posted about it when my kids, you know, started walking.

But those big moments, people celebrate them. It's, it's for the kids and it's [00:40:00] for the parents, Jerry. Just let, just let people celebrate and have magical things 

Gerry: instead of pricking their- No, because I'm like, I listened to, uh, Colin Jost's book, one of the Weekend Update guys from Saturday Night Live. Yep, I've read it.

And he, yeah, he talks about he didn't talk until he was four. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: That's the one you put on Facebook. Go, "Hey guys, Colin started talking, man." He 

Andrea: started 

Gerry: talking. Like, that would be- Yeah ... a good one. That's true. I- i- is like, when Colin Jost started talking, that would be a good one. But, like, if your kid started talking on schedule, great.

He's supposed to. Now he ain't never gonna stop But like if that kid's been mute and the kid just starts talking, yeah, celebrate that one 'cause that, that feels like a win. Right. 

Andrea: Yeah. Yeah. Little do they know in a couple years they're gonna be talking into the microphone and being like, "Clap." 

Gerry: That's hilarious.

Andrea: "Why aren't you clapping?" Oh my gosh. Yeah. Still recovering, guys. Still recovering. Um- I 

Gerry: also picture like the phone, like [00:41:00] recording. Yeah. And then, and then just the camera angle changing a little bit like... 

Andrea: Oh, it, it, it did, and then it went, it like went right down onto my knee and it, I didn't stop recording right away, so you can hear me telling the other parents, like, I was, I was trying to record.

Okay, guys, I wanna hear you about, hear about your thoughts. I wanna hear if we're crazy for not enjoying all these millions of graduations, 'cause I think, I think he's right, I think we gotta get rid of some of these graduations. Um, so you can contact us. Email me, andrea@human-content.com, or @educatorandrea, or you can contact the whole Human Content Podcast family on Instagram and TikTok @humancontentpods.

Um, thank you guys so much for leaving your reviews, and make sure that you do that. If you haven't done that, 

Theme: what are you doing? 

Andrea: Go leave a review. We need it. Um, and you can check the full video episodes up every week on YouTube @educatorandrea so you can see how strong and buff Gerry is. Yeah. Um, thank you so much for listening.

I'm your host, Andrea Forkham. [00:42:00] 

Gerry: Um, and I'm buff Gerry Patoca. 

Andrea: And our executive producers are Andrea Forkham, Aron Korney, Rob Goldman, and Shahnti Brooke. Our editor is Andrew Sims. Our engineer is Jason Portizo. Our music is by Omer Ben-Zvi. And to learn more about How to Survive the Classroom's program disclaimer and ethics policy and submission verification and licensing terms, you can go to podcasterandrea.com.

How to Survive the Classroom is Human Content Production.

Speaker 4: How to Survive the Classroom

Andrea: Thank you so much for watching. Want more of How to Survive the Classroom? You can watch more episodes right now. Just click on that little box over there. You see it? And if you haven't yet, please subscribe. Okay, bye.

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