We are BACK, teacher besties, and I have SO much to catch you up on. It's the season three premiere of How to Survive the Classroom, and Gerry has arrived with a NEW nose ring, a PASSED edTPA, and a very concerning number of years since his last dentist appointment. Buckle up. We recap Gerry's full edTPA journey and then get into a real conversation kicked off by my 100-year-old grandpa, who was a teacher for seven years before he quit, largely because he was frustrated that pay was tied to years of service instead of actual skill. Fifty years later, that same debate is still going, and we dig into merit-based pay, the limits of standardized testing, and why electives teachers get left out of the conversation entirely. Then we jump into back-to-school fan questions: what NOT to do your first year, the worst icebreakers ever, and how new teachers can actually protect their time. Plus, an unhinged Two Truths and a Lie round where Gerry casually mentions being present for an Easter Sunday prison riot and I have some follow-up questions.

ORDER MY NEW BOOK (AVAILABLE NOW)!!! — https://bit.ly/49CZ5A0⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Teacher besties, we made it. This is the season finale of How to Survive the Classroom, and we're going out with a BIG one. Gerry has NEWS, he submitted his edTPA. Like, two hours before the Pacific Time deadline news. (He fully Patoka'd it.) He walks me through his 4 Ps of marketing lesson plan, we trauma-bond over watching yourself teach on video, and he reveals that his comedy tell when a joke bombs is just saying "Hell yeah" into the mic, which will now live rent-free in my head for the rest of my life. Then we tackle fan questions. How to actually land a teaching job, what to ask in the interview, and which AI tools and books are actually worth your time. We also get into the Roast of Kevin Hart and why lazy jokes never land, why Tires might be the funniest sitcom on TV right now, and the ongoing saga of my mom genuinely believing Gerry has face tattoos. Gerry's hill to die on this week: the edTPA needs to go. Mine: every single teacher is allowed to COUCH ROT this summer with zero guilt. We'll see you back in August for the next season.