A Special Interest in Rodents with Mrs. Frazzled

Theme: Welcome to Those Who Can't Do.

Andrea: I'm Andrea Forcum, and I am so excited to be starting this podcast. My absolute favorite time in the day, which this, okay, this feels a little bit ridiculous because I feel like it's like saying recess is your favorite Class, but my favorite time of the day was always hanging out in the break room or lunch room with the other teachers and talking about some of the most chaotic things that our students would get into throughout our classes, and it's just that sense of camaraderie and understanding that you can't really get it.

outside of that room until this podcast. This podcast is to really share those experiences that we have all had as educators, or that maybe you just had as a student in one of those classrooms. I'm going to be talking to educators and to influencers and politicians and everyone in between about their experiences in the classroom.

And All of the chaotic things that they contributed to or survived when they were in the classrooms themselves. And the very first guest that we have is Arielle Fodor aka Mrs. Frazzled. Before we get to that though, I have to tell you what's been going on in my life recently because I actually, um, I have some beef.

with a five year old. Um, you see, my daughter is in kindergarten and she has been spending all of her time trying to make friends and is doing her absolute best. And there was this girl at her school who has excluded her from every single freaking thing to the point where my daughter on our way to like this random, like, I'm going to be doing a little fundraiser thing that was supposed to be happening at the school.

She was so excited. My daughter was very concerned though about going to this because she had forgot to bring a present for this girl. And I looked at her, I was like, why, why would you bring a, it's not her birthday is it? And she's like, no, but I thought maybe if I, if I brought her a present, then maybe she would play with me.

And. My heart, you guys, like absolutely crushed to pieces for my daughter because she's so sweet and she just wants so badly to, to play with this girl in particular. And it just, it crushes me as a mom of this little kindergartner to see her struggling like that. And I actually asked for the advice of the guest today, Ariel, and I cannot wait for you guys to hear what she shares with us.

It's so wise. And so she's hilarious. Like she's funny and she's wise and she has some of the craziest stories that we are going to get into that involve, um, mice and a deep, deep love for rodents. Let's get to it.

All right. So today we have with us Arielle, but better known to everyone as Mrs. Frazzled from TikTok and Instagram. She has over a million followers. And she's an incredible kindergarten teacher. And I am so excited you're here. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you 

Mrs. Frazzled: so much for having me. This is the best.

I am so happy that I'm here because I just, I was telling your producers 30 seconds ago that I'd do anything for you. I'd like record a podcast at the bottom of the ocean if you asked me. She was like, come on down. I'd be like, okay, this will be fun. 

Andrea: I know it's truly tragic. Like we lived an hour and a half from each other for.

And then we hung out, and what, six months later, I straight moved across the country. Selfishly. I know. Abandoned you, honestly. That is 

Mrs. Frazzled: so rude, first of all. I should have been your first thought. 

Andrea: I want to hear, so you come from the opposite end of the spectrum with teaching from what I do. Because I, I'm terrified of the small little children and that is like what you do.

So can you talk about what got you into teaching and what you taught and all of that? Yes. So I started teaching 

Mrs. Frazzled: in 2009 as a theater and dance teacher. And then I kind of kept that going through, oh my word, 2017 when I went back to school to start getting my like, um, teaching certification. And I, Got that, obviously.

And then I started teaching kindergarten in 2018. And then I did kindergarten until 2021. And then I was a third grade teacher randomly for one year, which didn't go very well. And, uh, I went out on maternity leave in May, and I just have not been back. 

Andrea: Gotcha. So what, what was, what didn't go well with third grade?

Mrs. Frazzled: I don't know. You know what? It was a combination of a lot of things. The kids were great. Like, I loved my kids, but I didn't understand really, like, how to navigate the first year of standardized testing. I didn't realize that you have to play that game from August, and it was really challenging because the state test for third grade in California is just really, really difficult, especially in like a post 2020 landscape where my kids had a lot of learning loss and a lot of gaps, specifically in like, uh, early literacy areas that just, things just never got taught to them.

And I was, I was needing to teach literal kindergarten phonics to a huge chunk of my class. And then the standardized test was, okay, we'll read these two essays, draw evidence from both essays, Put the evidence together in your own essay. And my kids were like at beyond frustration level. They were just like totally checked out.

And I was so, I was so frustrated for them. So that was, it was just a very interesting year to be in third 

Andrea: grade. I did, I did not realize that we did standardized testing at third grade. 

Mrs. Frazzled: It's really high stakes, too, because there's a lot of statistics that say that if you aren't proficiently reading by third grade that there's like a really high chance that you'll be illiterate as an adult.

Like, it's like this, this train that starts leaving the station and it's like, you need to be on the train to have the best education. chance at, like, a choice filled future. And it's, it's something that was, like, really weighed, weighty on me, that I was trying to not, like, superimpose that on the kids, but also, like, semi freaking out.

Like, okay, we, we have to figure this out, you guys. 

Andrea: Well, and I've heard that statistic before as well, that, like, and it's not even just, like, oh, you're going to do better later in school. It's, like, related The correlation that people draw a lot of times is the likelihood of going to prison goes up exponentially if you are not caught up on your reading in third grade, which is insane that we can say that, that, like, by third grade, and especially when there's that much learning loss, I'll be interested to see if that correlation holds true later on, because COVID obviously changed so many things for these kids that, like, I feel like kids who maybe struggled before it had a lot more to do with, you know, environment and other things that were going on at home than simply not having access to like coming to school, which was the case for everyone.

Mrs. Frazzled: Yeah. And it was, it's really challenging too, because I remember I was teaching kindergarten at the time and that's the first year that like, Very rarely does a child come in with more than like a speech IEP in kindergarten, because this is really like the first time that they're like in this academic setting and you're seeing any sort of needs arise.

And we had a backlog of assessments for like over a year that was just like kids waiting in the pipeline to get assessed to see, okay, what kind of services do they get? Do they need services, et cetera, et cetera. When I arrived in third grade, those were students that were in first grade in 2020. So you still saw the effects of, you know, talking to the team and the, like the student success teams for my kids.

And I, I rolled in and I was like, okay, what's up? Like, how's it been going? And they were like, we have been in this holding pattern since 2020. Like they need this, they need that. Like, here's what we're doing, but here's what we need. And it was just like this really eyeopening experience of like, Wow, okay, so a lot.

There was a lot that these kids went through. And we knew that, but like to see it all come to fruition was like low key, very stressful. High key, very stressful. Yeah. Yeah. So did 

Andrea: you finish out that year as a third grade 

Mrs. Frazzled: teacher? I did to spring break and then I think I did one more week and then I went on maternity leave and I was done because my daughter was born in May.

Andrea: Okay. So I just, yeah. 

Mrs. Frazzled: Which, 

Andrea: I feel like every teacher I know has like spring or summer babies. Like my kids are both born, like, April and June are my two kids birthdays. Maternity leave is not a thing, really, as a teacher. 

Mrs. Frazzled: No. It's really not. And it's shocking to have, like, such a, a woman dominated career space and then have such a Bismal maternity leave practices.

It's, yeah. And I was very fortunate that my school district counted my FMLA clock, so to speak, because for FMLA, you have to have been there for 12 months, nine months. I forget. Whatever it was. 

Andrea: Something like that. 

Mrs. Frazzled: Yeah. It was not the right. I was not there long enough technically, but they counted it starting at like the next school year.

So I got FMLA that way. It was like, I don't know what kind of. if it was legal what they did, but I got FML. But it was, if I hadn't, I wouldn't have gotten those 12 weeks off at all. Which is insane. 

Andrea: Yeah. Yeah. Like they won't even allow you to adopt a puppy earlier than eight weeks and separate it from his mother.

But like humans were like, it's six weeks. Come on, get back to work. I 

Mrs. Frazzled: know. It's cuckoo. It's so crazy. Yeah. 

Andrea: Yeah, so when you were a student, do you remember any specific teacher that you had that made like a massive impact on your journey? 

Mrs. Frazzled: You know, I've been thinking about this a lot because I, I really had really great early educator teachers and I think that's probably what ended up happening for me to go into the early education space because I was like, I didn't have, like, the coolest early childhood experience, like, in my home life, but when I was in preschool and in kindergarten, I had really exceptional teachers that really were very nurturing and, like, really, I felt, at the time, at least, saw me as, like, a little human.

And I remember being in preschool and being like, I want to teach the big kids, which at the time was kindergarten, ironically enough. And then I went to kindergarten and had just, like, The best time. So I, throughout my schooling experience, would always like go back in my mind to like those two years and just nothing ever compared.

Nothing ever did. And I loved learning to read. I loved reading. Like I, I really just appreciated that and to have like kind of a tumultuous start to my life and then be able to feel like school was like a really safe place. It was just something that I enjoyed and I like carried with me throughout my educational experience.

Andrea: Yeah, did you have a teacher? So you have a very specific kindergarten teacher way of explaining things, which is a ton of your content is your teacher voice and doing all that. And if you guys have not caught some of her content, it's so funny because I, but like also so comforting, like, when I watch it, like, because you're so gentle.

And I'm like, I would have loved to have a teacher that explained things like that to me. Um, and you do it, you do it with like, political people and various like, social issues and stuff like that, too, which I think is, you know, such a strong way of approaching some of those. Um, But did you model that off after a specific teacher or did that just come from your soul?

Mrs. Frazzled: I didn't model it off of a specific teacher. You know, I, when I was getting coached in kindergarten, um, I, no, well, it started before that because when I was in student teaching, I was trying really hard to emulate my mentor teacher. I had a mentor teacher who was like a really strong personality and she was like her kids adored her but she was very like boisterous and like a little sarcastic and kind of like in your face it was awesome because her kids like she had built that relationship that was like I don't know, kind of like the banter that she had between her kids and herself.

And I would try to emulate that. And she was like, what are you doing? Like this is a little put, like it feels put on. And that's kind of like the first time that I was like, oh, that, that makes perfect sense. And I should be myself more. And I did. And it was really good. And then when I went into kindergarten, I.

I had a lot of coaching. I was at a school that was very, very instructional coach heavy. Like, I had somebody in my room every single day, and one of the notes I got a lot was about, like, tonal modulation and, um, parentese and, like, how you narrate things. And at the same time, I was at school, a school that had a really, heavy SEL focus and, like, really, um, constant PDs on, like, trauma informed practices and trauma based practice.

Oh, my God. Trauma informed teaching and, like, different things like that. It's been a minute. Um, But I was like combining all of this stuff and then it kind of like turned into what the, that those videos are. But I don't, I don't talk to my kids like that 24 seven, like the bulk majority of the time we're just like talking and hanging out and being, but like, I do think that like, There's obviously elements of it that are very real.

And I, we, when we went home for COVID, we were sent home and it was like a really sad night when it was like after school. And my friends and I, my teacher friends and I were like on zoom having a little wine and chilling. And we thought it would be so funny. If we started talking, because we missed the classroom so much, we thought it'd be hilarious if we, like, pretended to talk to our boyfriends like they were in kindergarten.

And then we all were sitting around with our wine, like, Uh oh, friend, like, put the, the socks go in the hamper. Where do they go? In the hamper. And we just, like, bantered like that. And then the next day, I put it on TikTok, and I've just, I have not stopped. Clearly. Like, I've been 

Andrea: So funny. I love that that's how it started, that it was just like you with your community talking about how much like you missed the classroom and all of that.

It's so hilarious. It was fun. Truly. Yeah, we had good times. Now, when you were in the classroom, were there ever times that you, uh, confiscated or found things in desks, because I have a vivid memory of when I was in school. I was that kid that like, my desk was always overflowing with stuff. Like I was undiagnosed ADHD my whole life until like, yeah, till like last month.

And then I finally got the official diagnosis. Um, I'd like, I've known, right. But now I've got like a diagnosis and medication. Um, but so like all through, Yeah, right. Like, all through school, I was that kid that, like, stuff is shoved in, in my bags, and there's snacks and an apple core in there. Did you ever find anything, like, super chaotic in the desks?

No, 

Mrs. Frazzled: it's so funny that you said the apple core, because I have this vivid memory. I had seat sacks for my kids, so they would sit at a round table with their little chairs, and then they would have seat sacks that, like, Tucked onto their chair backs and going through the seat sacks was always like a very harrowing experience.

And I had one kid who would put things like apple cores for, from snack time in his seat sack. And it was just, Oh my word. And the, the sensory experience of that, I just, I learned my lessons so fast that you do not just stick your hand in there when you're helping them clean. Because I would be like, Oh, Putting on magic school bus and I'd be like, okay friends, I'm gonna come around and grab your trash from your seat sacks They'd be like, okay miss and then it would just be Do you know the strangest thing that children do that now my child does you probably do know this but when you give them an apple They will bite the skin off and spit the skin out.

Yes, and then it's very wide spread. Oh, it's it's Yeah. So strange. But it, it, when it makes its way, its way to the seat sacks and it's like three weeks old, you're like, Hmm. 

Andrea: You're just fermenting and making apple wine at the desks. Oh my gosh. Yes. 

Mrs. Frazzled: But you know what? As far as like confiscated things goes, they're just so bad at that age, at hiding things or bringing things that they shouldn't, that it just doesn't really happen as much because it's pretty speedy where I'm like, what do you have?

No, thank you. Like, is that a, they're showing their friends, their phone is just like. around and I'm like, I'm standing right here, you guys. Like, you need to like, we're going to work on our sneakiness. 

Andrea: Right. Yeah. But you have at one point discovered something in your classroom, 

Mrs. Frazzled: correct? Oh, yes. 

Andrea: A little, a little special guest.

Mrs. Frazzled: Listen. Okay. So yes, I, when I was in third grade for that year, I, Had a classroom that was, well, the school in general was like built in 1940. And when I moved into that classroom. It had literal textbooks from 1966 in the cupboards. Oh my gosh. Like, it was just things that teacher after teacher had moved out of that room and been like, Well, this'll be useful.

So I had, like, very, very old, dusty things. And that school, in general, Just having never been updated, we had cockroaches, we had ants, we had everything under the sun, but what I didn't think we had was a mouse. I was teaching one day, and I had some pranksters in my class, loved to like, in the middle of math, They would just say things that they knew would get, like, a rise out of the class.

Oh my gosh, a bee! And there was no bee, but then the whole class was like, a bee! Or a spider, or whatever. So one day they did it with a mouse! And they had just, they had gaslit me one too many times. about things being like, no, miss, I swear. And I'm like, you are. And then there'd be a kid that was like, no, they're lying to you.

They're lying. And I would be like, wait a second. So when they said the mouse ran by, I was like, no, it did not. We got to buckle in and do this graphing activity or whatever. And then I was filming a tick talk after school and I had like my phone on my desk and Behind me, you would just see a mouse, like, book it across the classroom, and I was like, Oh, I accidentally I told them I didn't believe them about that, and I, like, had set up a trap.

I have, oh, I was like, but simultaneously, I, do you know about the RodentGirl69 username from Neopets? Do you know this story? No. What? Okay, listen. Side note, sorry, the ADHD is ADHD ing, but I feel like you need to know this. So, I, when I was in, I also was undiagnosed neurodivergent as a child, and I had a very, very special interest of, um, rodents.

I loved rodents, all kinds. I would read every book, every book. In the library, I drew, I have pictures of like, wouldn't draw my family as people, drew them as hamsters over and over again. Don't know 

Andrea: why. 

Mrs. Frazzled: Anyway, just a rodent girly. Yes. So exactly. And when Neopets came out, that was my username, rodent girl underscore.

But I liked how the numbers six and nine fit together. I thought it was very like a little puzzle. So I put them together. And I was like, oh my gosh, this is like a yin yang symbol, like this is, you know, it was 2000 something and that was like a thing that was on a lot of stuff and I didn't know any better on any front.

And so that was my username. And my, my mom was like, not going to be like, uh, let me explain to you what those numbers mean. She was like, you're eight. We're

So 

Andrea: this was your moment. This was my moment. Like, this is what your whole life has been preparing for. Exactly. I 

Mrs. Frazzled: was like, we're gonna domesticate this friend and it's gonna be a class pet. No. But the janitorial staff brought up glue traps, and I went nuts. I was like. No, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't do this to me.

So I have like a TikTok of me setting up like books and a thing and a whatever with snacks in the trash can. It's like tipped over. It looks very, um, like the game Mousetrap came to life. And it was Yeah. We just, we never did catch the mouse. It was able to fully get in and out of that trash can, which everybody in the comments was like, yeah, that's what it sounds like.

Well, at the end of the year, I was cleaning out my bins and I had a snack bin. that I forgot about. And it was in another bin. And when I took the bin out, it was very, there was no dead mouse in it. The mouse carried on its merry way, but it had very evidently turned that into its own mouse cage and was just living its best, best life right next to me while I taught.

So it was like literally two feet away from me at all times. And every once in a while, We would see a blur of the mouse run on by, but, yeah, so I did find a friend. 

Andrea: How, how confident are you that the janitorial staff did not put glue traps down that you were unaware of, and that's in fact where the little mouse ended up?

Mrs. Frazzled: Well, they were not in my room, I will say that. I Okay. I, I looked around and I removed them and I, against everyone's advice, because, mind you, I'm pregnant at the time and like, mouse droppings are not something that you mess with when you're pregnant, but I was like, I'm gonna wear a mask and eventually, I'm fine, I'm gonna, whatever, but I never, never did find it.

Okay. I like to think that he's like, living his best life somewhere. 

Andrea: Yeah, I'm sure when you left for maternity leave, they definitely didn't put a bunch of glue traps in there and steal it with that mouse. 

Mrs. Frazzled: Oh, it's been really fun!

Andrea: Oh my gosh, well, that is actually a perfect time. We are going to take a quick break, and when we get back, we are going to get Arielle's advice on a couple of very important non mouse related matters.

Alright, so welcome back. Um, I have advice that I need from you because my daughter right now is in kindergarten. It's a wild ride. And girl, let me tell you, I didn't, I never thought I would have beef with a five year old, but there is a girl in my daughter's class. And like, my daughter's come home a couple times and told me like, so and so made friendship bracelets for, um, this other girl, but she didn't make one for me.

And I was like, Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. And so she then, my sweet daughter, made bracelets for every single kid in her class and brought it to every single kid in her class. There was, like, last night, specifically, there was a skate event, like, as a fundraiser for the school. So we went, and my daughter, on the way there, was like, oh, I need to get presents for so and so.

And I was like, this is not a birthday party, like, this is for the school, why do you need to get presents? And she's like, oh, so she'll, so that, She'll hang out with me. And I'm like, Oh, baby girl, like, you don't, you don't need to give someone a present. So then we get there. Right. And I'm thinking like, surely this girl is not being mean to my daughter.

Well, my daughter comes in and she's like yelling this girl's name and waving at her. And the little girl sitting there with her siblings and looks at my daughter while my daughter's saying her name and waving and then looks back down and puts her skates back on. When I tell you, I almost drop kicked a child.

I was like, you are you like, and I like took a beat and I'm like, Andrea, you can't go to jail for, for drop kicking. It's a child. She's a child. Right. And The little girl who my daughter was talking to, like, her sister nudged her and was like, say hi. And then she looked up and said hi. And then I was like, okay, sweetie, like, let's get going.

And like, I kind of like herded her elsewhere. Um, but in those situations, like you're a mom, you are a kindergarten teacher. Like, how do we encourage the right thing with? Because to me, I'm like, screw that kid. Like, don't spend time with her. But they're still learning how to be humans, right? Like that little girl's learning how to be nice when we're not a big fan of somebody.

So like, how would you handle that if you saw it like in your classroom or if it was like your daughter dealing with something like that? 

Mrs. Frazzled: This is okay. I have two very distinct Responses that are very different from So, okay since becoming a mom because I already see stuff like this happen in like her little gymnastics class we're like she gets pushed or somebody doesn't want to play with her or whatever and it like wrecks me.

I, I literally, I totally understand what you mean because I will literally want to, I want to, my reaction is I'm like, I'm picking her up and we're going home. We're going to go have fun and we're going to have the best time actually. And I'm going to go buy her whatever she wants from Target and we're going to learn the art of retail therapy and it's going to be fine.

It's going to be fine. So that's my mom hat, you know, like I cannot, I, I, I think all the time about how. Much I just didn't understand before I became a mom. There is no, like, separating my educator, like, I can't take off my mom hat and put on my educator hat fully to, like, grasp the things that I know to be true when I am in that emotional state of, like, mama bear.

So, that's, that's one thing. So, I totally get it. On the other hand, the, the, the educator answer. Um, so it happens all the time. In kindergarten. All the time. So, one of the most important things for me is that I have a relationship with parents in my classroom because they are really the ones that are going to hear the bulk of it.

I don't supervise on the yard and I don't always see everything because as the teacher, a lot of it gets hidden from you. Not all the time. And eventually there are cracks in the facade, you know, but kids are pretty good at knowing, like, I can't be like this in front of my teacher or an authority figure.

As time goes on, they tend to get more comfortable and you'll see it more, but that's why it's so important for me to like. Tell my parents, like you are the expert on your child. Like if something is going on, don't assume, don't go tell the principal and assume that they're going to tell me, don't talk to the yard staff and assume that they're going to talk to me because things happen.

There's a lot of hustle and bustle. They might not tell me, but I would rather you over communicate than under communicate. So that's like the first thing that I like established. Cause a lot of dealing with this stuff is like establishing Different things in your room from like the jump, like we talk about friendship and like being kind and like different strategies for engaging with people that you don't want to spend time with.

We talk about that every single day. I love responsive classroom. We do morning meeting every single day where we would talk about something. from the social emotional learning perspective where some days it's like, okay, what do you do if somebody's not nice to you? What do you do if you don't want to spend time with somebody?

How can you kind of navigate these relationships? Um, and that's helpful because it kind of gives Kids, a lot of kids like a base for different skill sets because until from ages two to seven students are in the egocentric stage of development. And like, I don't mean that in a mean way, like egocentric carries such like a connotation, but it's just what it is.

Like they're very inward focused, so they don't really innately go and think about other people without explicitly being taught a lot of the times. So. That's one thing. And then when stuff comes up like that, I always pull the kids and talk to them. Like, I'll talk to the offender and be like, what's, what just happened?

Like, do you want to tell me a little bit about what I just saw? And then talk to them about that and like how we can maybe handle that next time. And then talk to the person who was like a victim of that and be like, how are you feeling? Like, what's going on? Like, what do you need? And sometimes the kids still want to be that other person's friend and sometimes they're like, I never want them to talk to me again.

And I'm like, yeah, all valid. Like we can navigate whatever you want to do. Um, but it's like so different child to child and scenario to scenario. And like, But I do think that it's so important in, like, those moments where you see that, like, weirdness between kids to, if you, like, if I see that, I will pull them right away and be like, What's going on?

Because I don't want it to snowball because I've been the kid that, like, is on the receiving end of kind of passive aggressive rudeness like that and when you're just so little and you don't have any skill sets to like understand why somebody might be like that or Even just like have the permission to not hang out with somebody like that makes you feel like poo Because yes, of course in life, you know we're gonna have people that we don't like or whatever, but I also think that there's something to be said about like Empowering kids to know that, like, if somebody's rude to you, you can work with them on a project in class.

You absolutely do not have to spend your fun times with them. They don't always deserve your company. And sometimes that's what it is, where I'm like, You are such a cool kid. You're so kind. Like, why don't we Who else can we play with? Like, who do you, who, who's in this class that you like a lot, that makes you feel good?

And trying to facilitate that is like something that is a lot of, we spend a lot of time on that because I, I think it's so important. I know that not every teacher spends a lot of time on that. I do though. I, I think that that's a huge part of kindergarten. 

Andrea: Yeah, I love that. And it's, again, since I come from, like, the high school world where they are so jaded at that point, and it's a lot of that same behavior, just grown up.

Um, and I do wonder if they're less receptive in high school because they're like, no, I don't, I don't like them, screw them. And like, you have to be like, okay, well, we can still work together, you know? And it's, it's interesting how the conversations are, like, very parallel. Um, But they, you know, and I always get it when I do my videos that people are like, I don't even know what grade this is.

Like, it could be high school, or it could be like second grade. And I'm like, well, they're, their brains are still really squishy at both stages, you know? 

Mrs. Frazzled: Yes. And like, one thing about kindergarten too is that they're, because they're in the same classroom for like, Upwards of six hours a day with the same group.

It's like I they don't get the break that sometimes you get in high school If you have kids on different schedules where they are not spending quite as much time together So it's like they do have to navigate kind of being in the same space But then also the onus is a little bit on me as a teacher to be like, okay, you're gonna sit at this table You're gonna be in this reading group like try to Give them that time away.

Yeah. Because I never want to like force them to work together 24 7 when they're just so little and they don't, they don't always have the sense of like, screw them because they just get their feelings hurt. They're so sensitive, you know. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Mrs. Frazzled: And like, as a mom, I just 

Andrea: And each kid is Oh, it's so sad. And like, my daughter, like, cause you're totally right, like, if you look at the developmental stages and stuff, the egocentric, where they're just thinking about, like, how things feel for them and all of that.

And my daughter is so concerned about, like, helping other people and making other people happy in a way that was, like, never Like, I'm not as good of a person as that, you know what I'm saying? Jay is the same way already. Ugh. And like, to see that, where she will literally be on her way to like, church or to school, and she will be shoving toys into her bag, and I'm like, why, what are you doing?

And she's like, I want to make sure everyone has a toy to play with. And she's like, trying to bring supplies to orchestrate the play. And I'm like, sweet baby 

Mrs. Frazzled: girl. I know. Jay literally will carry around balls at gymnastics class and instead of playing with the balls, she's giving everybody the ball.

She's like picking up balls and walking them over to people or if there's a baby, she's like picking up the shakers and like giving it to the baby. There was one day there was a baby and she gave the baby like six shakers and I was like, that's enough slices. Like it's stuff like that that I'm like, when you talk about your daughter, I'm like, we might be.

We might be going down that road. 

Andrea: Yeah, yeah. Well, and it's interesting what you were saying about, you know, wearing our teacher hat and wearing our mom hat and how it's hard for us, you know, to take one off completely when we're doing, you know, the other. And, uh, I was talking to my students about this because I taught for almost a decade and I've been to so many IEP meetings and I've had so many conversations with parents about, you know, your kid is struggling in this or that.

And I had never had that conversation from the parent's perspective before. And so when my daughter started kindergarten and I had a chat with, with her teacher about something she was struggling with, I was amazed at how defensive I immediately felt. Like, Even though, like, I know that, like, phonics are hard, and that kids who have, you know, are neurodivergent, like, they're gonna struggle with certain things more than others, and I, like, logically, I know that, but I could still feel myself wanting to, like, defend and explain like, well, we've been reading to her since, you know, she was a baby.

We read to her all of the time. And I'm like, like, what, why, what is that? Where I'm like, immediately trying to be like, no, no, no, everything is great. Um, and I, I use that when I talk to my students because I was like, guys, I just want you to know when you have these conversations with Even If the parent is, you know, very aware of what their child struggles with and all of that, there is going to be something in them that feels very guilty and feels like they failed if their child is struggling.

And, and they could be doing everything right, but immediately you start going back and being like, Oh, well maybe there was just too much screen time, or maybe there was too much, you know, whatever. And you start to like dissect it and pick yourself apart and it just makes you feel like bad. Garbage. And I, that was one way that like becoming a parent really helped with education and has helped me like explain things to my, my future teacher students that like, It's a perspective I never thought about before, which, you know, before you become a parent, you're just like, well, why, like, why would they be defensive?

I'm just letting, like, this is normal. Like, kids struggle with stuff. But as a parent, you're like, not my kid, though. 

Mrs. Frazzled: I know. It changes everything. And like, there's so many things where now I see, like, that are posted online that I see both sides for. Even when a parent It's like the story on TikTok is a parent who's like very, very venomously angry about something.

And it doesn't make sense because you know, what's behind the curtain as an educator, you know, more about the education system. So you have context that they don't like. I'm that also at the same time, able to see both sides where I'm like. All you want is to put your kid in a pocket and, like, carry them around all day and keep them safe from literally everything in the world and, like, it is such, like, an instinctual thing.

Right. And I, that's, that's, but the defensiveness thing that you mentioned is one of the reasons why I cannot, I don't know what would have to happen where I don't know. I don't know what would have to happen where the first thing I do is call home about something negative. I have to call home about something positive before negative, like I just have to.

Like I have to build those relationships with parents so that they don't think that I'm out to get their kid or that I'm judging their kid. That I genuinely care about their kid's success and their family. It's just so important to me. 

Andrea: Yeah, I for sure, one of the things I always tried to do when I, especially when I had a student, you know, those, those kids that you can tell pretty much within the first day.

Like this kid is a lot of energy and is kind of wild and is probably going to be hard to handle in the classroom. And I always would make it. A goal that I would reach out to the parents within that first week and tell them something I liked about their kid and tell them, like, what a joy it is to have their kid in class.

And it's not like we're making this up, right? Like, I truly do enjoy those kids, and I would always be very honest about, like, where their strengths are and all of that. And so often, Those parents would be like, wow, I've never had a positive phone call home from a teacher. Like, I've never had that conversation with a teacher before.

And it would completely shift the conversation so that when it was time to have the call where I'm like, hey, your kid was gone for 40 minutes out of the 50 minute class, vaping in the bathroom or whatever, like, they're not going to be like, oh, well, you hate our kid. Like, no, we, like, we've established, I love your kid, I want them to be successful, but they can't vape in the bathroom for 40 minutes.

Right. 

Mrs. Frazzled: Kind of a thing. Totally. Totally. Which is so, so valid. And. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Mrs. Frazzled: As if I even have to say that, but you're so valid for not wanting your students to vape for 40 minutes in the bathroom. Thank you so 

Andrea: much. You're 

Mrs. Frazzled: so welcome. I see you. So, yeah, no, it's, it's, it's super important. And then, like, as.

somebody down with a child, it's like very clear why it's so important because you do like kind of take on the responsibility for your child's success and like internalize it to the point where it's like, what did I do wrong? What could I do more of? Like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, It's so, it's so tough.

Andrea: Yeah, it is. Um, so one of the things that we do is we take a couple of questions from listeners on things that they're trying to improve on or advice that they want from us. Um, and I thought it would be fun. I chose these questions specifically because I feel like it would be really fun to hear it from your perspective as a kindergarten teacher and then I'll give as like secondary teacher perspective.

Um, And our first question is from an English 3 teacher in Texas and she wanted to know how to make reading more fun in the classroom. Um, she's done audiobooks, but she really wants to like jazz it up. And I know that you've done, I love, by the way, you've done read alouds on TikTok live and stuff like that, which just like being read to is The absolute best.

It is really nice. It's so sweet. Um, so what are some ways that you, uh, kind of tried to make reading really engaging and fun in, in your classroom? 

Mrs. Frazzled: One of the things that I do is I don't always tell the kids what to read, I just help them to find a good fit book for them, and something that I've found is that students will read a higher grade level or a higher grade.

reading level when they're reading something that they're really interested in and something that they have choice and voice in picking. And so just whenever possible incorporating that, because of course it's not always possible. We, there are times very often where we have to read things that are assigned to us, but allowing times where they can really just figure out what they want to read is really helpful, um, to kind of give them that love of reading so that they have the buy in to stay, stay in it when they, even when they, um, don't want to read what they're reading.

Andrea: Yeah, that's almost exactly the same advice that I give, um, when, when we do, uh, units on memoir or biography or whatever. Um, there's one of two ways that the last school I was at did it, which one was we would just go to the library and they could pick any Any book from that genre and they were able to read it and then we would give reading time at the beginning of class and so all of our assessments were looking at like whatever thematically would be similar for a memoir or for you know, whatever.

So we'd have like our big essential question, but they actually got to read about whoever they wanted if we were doing a memoir one. Um, And another way we would do it is we would do a book tasting where I would have like a book cafe set up where each table had a stack of different books and they would go through and they would read a couple and then they would review which one sounded good to them.

Um, And I would allow graphic novels and any, any form of book that they would want to consume, I was all for. And it was really important to me, too, that I had representation in the books for what was in my classroom. Because we wanted, like, if I want this kid to see themselves as a reader, how powerful is it to see their story in print?

And, you know, being there and. Making sure that I searched out books and had those there so it wasn't just, you know, I don't know, of Mice and Men, 15 different copies on each desk and stuff like that. Like, they had to read a Mice and Men, but I also wanted them to see themselves in, in the text that they were reading.

So that was another element that we kind of had in the classroom as well, which Absolutely loved. 

Mrs. Frazzled: Yeah, Dr. Rudine Sims Bishop really killed it with the windows, mirrors, and sliding glass doors thing. Yes. Because like, ugh. It was like, when I learned that in PD for the first time, I was like, wow. Yeah. 

Andrea: Yeah, do you want to talk about that a little bit if somebody's not familiar?

Mrs. Frazzled: So Dr. Rudine Sims Bishop coined this term Windows, Mirrors, and Sliding Glass Doors where windows are books that allow you to look into other people's worlds, mirrors are books that show you your own experience, and sliding glass doors kind of let you use your imagination to step into other people's shoes or step into other worlds or other scenarios, et cetera, et cetera.

Um, And it's just a really great way to think about different books and think, okay, do I have all of these options? Do I have windows, mirrors, and sliding glass doors in my classroom? And what would that look like if I added a little bit of all of those? 

Andrea: Right. Exactly. Yeah. And I, I didn't actually know who it was that had coined that.

I had heard the, the phrase and the analogy before. So I'm so glad that you were able to like, just pull that name out of your memory. Cause I don't know that 

Mrs. Frazzled: I got my booty handed to me because I thought it was just something that was a colloquial term or whatever that, you know, like you're taught in school all the time.

And the librarians told me, they were like, no, you credit. Dr. Rudy and Sims Bishop. Every time you mention that. And I was like, noted. I did not. Because they don't tell you, they don't teach you that. They give you the reading exercise in PD and they're like, okay, is this a mirror or a window or whatever?

Like they don't, they don't go into all the history of it, but it is really important to note that, you know. A black woman started that, and like, it has revolutionized literacy instruction, so it's really cool. Yeah. 

Andrea: Yeah. That's all. And being scolded by a librarian will make a difference in your life, for sure, I remember each time.

Mrs. Frazzled: Mm hmm. 

Andrea: I will 

Mrs. Frazzled: listen to the librarians. Mm hmm. 

Andrea: Always. Forever. Okay, so we have one more question that was submitted, and this one is completely different than the other one. Um, this is from a new assistant principal from Utah. And he said, two teachers on the same team matched with somebody on a dating site.

One asked the other not to tell them if they go on dates with the guy. The other goes on a date and decides to tell the other one. Clearly a strained relationship at this point. One teacher wants to talk through it. The other teacher does not want to talk through it. It's now impacting students. At what point is it appropriate for admin to intervene?

Or Is it?

What a world. 

Mrs. Frazzled: See, I'm sorry, but I just would not date in the, in, in the pool of people that I am teaching with. I know that people get married from, to other teachers all the time. Like I know that that happens, but just, it wouldn't happen for me. 

Andrea: Did you ever know any teachers that like hooked up at school?

I 1000 percent did. Oh, I did. 

Mrs. Frazzled: Oh my gosh. Why? What? I feel like high school teachers are also a different breed though. 

Andrea: Oh yeah. We are for sure. For sure. And like, it's always like a gym teacher and somebody, um, it's like, sorry, gym 

Theme: teachers. 

Andrea: I'm so sorry. Gym teachers. It just does tell, like one of the participating members does tend to be, although like I, there, it was like a well-known fact for a while that like.

One of, like, at a school that I was at, um, the principal was, like, hooking up with one of the teachers as well. Like, crazy. Yeah. So, like, dating the same person, guy from, like, a dating app, that seems relatively mild. No, 

Mrs. Frazzled: I mean, I, okay, this, nobody will, this, No, this is like a story of a story. I'll tell the story.

I have one of my best friends is like kind of is related to a teacher who is a special education assistant and he has dated every other special education assistant at the school. Every single one, and so he's three that I know of, and his current girlfriend is stationed in a room with his ex, and it is big drama, all the time, big drama, like, and it comes, it happens in school, it happens out of school, it happens So all the time, but like, I just wouldn't, I wouldn't do that.

But the question was like, when should admin get involved? I mean, how can admin get involved? I don't know. 

Andrea: Like, well, I mean, he says that. Now the students are being impacted, right? I hope to God the students are unaware of this. Can you imagine if the students knew that you were in a love triangle with it?

Like, they would eat it up. 

Mrs. Frazzled: But what do you mean they're affected? Like, are they, maybe they're like, 

Andrea: It says they're on the same team, which means that they probably don't have the same students, right? Like, if you're, like, I think of my team as the same department as me, so we're not likely teaching the same students.

But maybe they're not collaborating as much, and so the level of instruction is down? I, to me, I would not directly address it. I would likely be like, hey guys, like, just checking in here, wanted to make sure we're all good, see if there's anything you guys need from me, but like, I don't think you can directly be like, stop dating the same guy.

Mrs. Frazzled: Yeah, absolutely. I, yeah, I think that's the best way to go about it. Yeah, for sure. 

Andrea: Right? Because you can't 

Mrs. Frazzled: No. Have you ever been a part of a harm circle? 

Andrea: No? I don't think so. What is that? 

Mrs. Frazzled: Okay, Andrea. So I, you know, I've been in several very woo woo schools that love, we love SEL, but um, One of the schools did harm circles, which is, like, very, very loosely based on circles and, like, um, restorative justice practices and things like that.

It's, like, just strayed so far from the original intent of the circle. 

Theme: Right. 

Mrs. Frazzled: And, uh, they will put us in, like, a room if there's drama. And, like make you talk about it. These are 

Andrea: teachers. Teachers. These are teachers. Teachers. Adults. 

Mrs. Frazzled: You're putting. I have not. Yeah, I have not been forced to partake in one, but I have known colleagues who were and they did a model one for us at one of our like back to school PDs just like show us what it would be like, but that would be some, I would a million percent.

I anticipate that my old school would have pulled them in for a harm circle. 

Andrea: Oh. So, you just go and you say, like, let's talk about how we've harmed each other? There's a 

Mrs. Frazzled: talking piece that you, like, hold and you share one at a time how you've been impacted and how you feel and what you need and, like, and then they literally send you back into the world and they're like, okay.

Here's the plan, we'll check in. This sounds like 

Andrea: an SNL skit, honestly. 

Mrs. Frazzled: 100 percent it is, because, I mean, it truly is just so, such an abbreviated version of what Circles is, but just enough to, um, make it, you know, a little strange between the parties. 

Andrea: Yeah, that sounds wildly uncomfortable. Oh, 

Mrs. Frazzled: I'm sure. 

Andrea: What a treat.

I would love to be a fly on that wall or, you know, a mouse in that snack drawer when those are going on. I know. Yeah, what a trip. Oh, no kidding. Well, we are going to start wrapping up, but before you go, can you tell us, like, what you're up to right now, where people can find you, all of that good stuff? Yes, 

Mrs. Frazzled: I am up to not very much, but you can find me, you can find me on anything as Mrs.

Dot Frazzled, and my podcast is Teacher Quick Talk with Ms. Redacted, and yeah, thank you so much for having me. 

Andrea: Thank you. It's been so much fun. Um, and I don't appreciate you say, saying that like, you're not up to much. Your pickle content has been absolutely fire. Thank you so much, honestly. I look for it.

All right. Well, thank you again to our wonderful guests. And we'll be right back.

I had so much fun talking to Fraz about her experiences. I am always so fascinated hearing the perspective of elementary teachers because I feel like we live in adjacent but very disparate worlds. And it cracks me up because I feel like there's such a vibe with elementary teachers and a vibe with high school teachers.

But I, Absolutely loved hearing her takes about the way that third graders exist in the classroom and learning all of those social emotional skills and all of that that they do is So similar to what I did in the high school classroom. Um, and I didn't get a chance to tell her, but I've actually had a mouse in my classroom as well.

Although I'm, I didn't want to tell her what happened to the mouse that was in my classroom. It, it did not, it did not live as fortuitous of a life as the mouse in her classroom. So, um, I thought it was fantastic hearing about, um, her really special, what was it? Neopet name? Um, it just is such a typical eight year old girl move to be like, well, I like rodents and I like the number 69.

It's, Fantastic. So I hope you guys enjoyed it. I had so much fun. Please check her out on all of her socials. She is an absolute delight to follow. Um, so this week I had you guys submit a couple of things of what your students are up to. And one of the ones I keep getting from so many people is that the students are mewing.

And the first time I saw that, I thought like, like meowing like a cat, but that's not true. That's not it. If you guys haven't seen this yet, middle schoolers and high schoolers, in particular, are doing this thing where they put their tongue to the roof of their mouth and shut their mouths to try and like sharpen their jawline.

And I, I don't know what that's about, but that is just literally taken over. I saw it when I was observing one of my student teachers. I saw several kids doing it and it, you only know they're doing it because first they hold their finger to their lips and then they'd like kind of trace their jawline.

So like letting people know, I can't talk right now. I'm, I'm, I'm, Mewing. I got nothing. I'm sure it is a trend that they've seen on social media, and that's where it comes from, but it is really strange to see in a classroom environment. Um, another thing somebody submitted is that they let a quail loose in their classroom.

And the quail got a concussion. And I don't understand how you diagnose a quail concussion in particular. Um, I'm guessing maybe it was just like kind of dazed because I've had birds like hit a window before and it kind of acts dazed and can't quite fly. So I'm guessing that's what happened there. But I, I also don't understand what the quail was doing in the classroom to begin with.

So I, you know, to each their own. Everybody else, I don't know. apparently has a different vibe when it comes to classroom pets. Like Fraz loved having her mouse guest in her classroom. Um, and then the absolute most epic one that I received this week was actually a picture. Um, somebody submitted, they said a third grader brought in this item because they thought it was a golden egg and they wanted to sell it to their classmates.

And, um, I think we can probably, uh, include an image for those of you who are watching on YouTube, but those of you who aren't, it is, it is a, a golden egg shaped item that is sitting on a bit of a stem with a flat end on, on the, on the bottom. They, they brought their parents butt plug to school with them and tried to sell it.

So that is apparently what the kids are doing this week. I would love to hear from you guys about today's episode and I would love your suggestions on who you think should come on next. And there are a ton of ways to get in touch with us. You can email us at Andrea at human content. com or you can visit me on Instagram at Educator Andrea or TikTok at Educator Andrea, or you can kick it with us on our human content podcast family on Instagram at human content pods.

So, obviously, this is a new podcast, so thank you guys so much for tuning in early. If you have any feedback or comments, anything that you leave for us is really, really appreciated. If you subscribe and comment on your favorite podcasting app or on YouTube, we will even maybe give you a little shout out on one of the next episodes.

And you can get full video episodes on YouTube every week at Educator Andrea. Thank you so much for listening. I'm your host, Andrea Forkham. A special thanks to our wonderful guest, Mrs. Frazzled. Our executive producers are Andrea Forkham, Aron Korney, Rob Goldman, and Shahnti Brooke. Our editor is Andrew Sims.

Our engineer is Jason Portizzo. Our music is by Omer Ben Zvi. Our recording location is the Indiana State Bi College of Education. Those Who Can't Do is a human content production.

Thank you so much for watching. If you're like me and you're thinking, gosh, I really need more Those Who Can't Do in my life, you can start your binging right now by clicking on that playlist button right over there. New episodes are out every Thursday, so please subscribe and join us each week on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts.